wwjd.....

those letters became very popular some time ago. it started out to be a reminder to those of us who follow Jesus to think about what He would do in any given situation. it's momentum was infectious with wristbands, t shirts, hats etc. all worn proudly. but did it really remind us to think: what would Jesus do when faced with a decision on how to act or what to do in a situation?  lately, these letters have caused me to really think about my actions in light of my relationship with Jesus.

in my bible studies of late, i have been reading how Jesus handled life while He walked this earth, and how i am to handle life as a follower of Him. how I conduct my actions, my testimony and any ministry i am called to do. the theme that continues to jump out at me is: love. everything Jesus did was out of His great love and obedience to the Father and His amazing grace, mercy and love for us.

as a believer and follower of Him, i am called to conduct my life as He did with the help of the Holy Spirit. as i began to look at Him in scripture and in how He related to people i see the following:

He never, ever, ever minimized the truth about Himself, His purpose, His standing with the Father, His humanness, His position on sin and the consequences of sin unpaid for. He always spoke the truth. always.

He dined and associated with the worst of society in that time; tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, demon possessed, poor, Samaritans, disease ridden and the common man. i imagined what it would be like to sit at a table with Jesus, share a meal and conversation. (another post!) i think what is amazing is that people were drawn to Him. even though He called out the sin in their life and the need for repentance. why? because He did it in His great love for them, and they felt it.  

i often forget that as much a Jesus is wholly God, He was also wholly a man. that is why He understands us so much and is the perfect One to intercede to the Father on our behalf.  He loved His disciples, parents, friends.  He cried at the tomb of Lazarus. He was angry in the temple with the money changers yet did not sin in His anger.  i cannot say the same. 

i definitely do not love in the capacity that Jesus does. i fail so many times. but every day i ask Him to give me His heart, His eyes, to love what He loves. i want to bring Him to the homeless, the lost and hurting, the sick, the fallen and i want to do it as He did. i will always speak the truth. i cannot nor will not deny that sin needs payment. i pray that i can share His truth in His way, in love, grace and mercy.

"amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. i once was lost but now am found, was blind but now i see." He keeps showing me, teaching me, guiding me and molding me to be His witness here. 1Corinthians 13 has been on my heart a LOT lately.  in one of my devotions the author said she puts her name every day in verses 4-7 and her goal was to put on all the qualities of love. love is patient=terri is patient, well i fail right there. love does not envy or boast=terri does not envy or boast. you get the idea. it is a good place to start to be the witness Jesus was and wants me to be.

Jesus is the truth, the way and the life. He is because of love. am i acting, speaking, walking in love? so i find myself more and more asking wwjd.........

1cor 13; ephesians 2:4-10, 5:1; colossians 3:12-17; hebrews 4:15-16;,1john 2:3-6, 4:7-2; romans 8

open arms......

this week i had an 'ah-ha" moment.  i was in deep distress and praying fervently to God to calm my spirit, open my mind, and assure my heart.  i get like this at times when i am either battling a "depressive episode" or my mind does not want to give me any peace!  i am a firm believer that going to God and His Word, as well as asking prayer warriors for prayer will provide (and it always has, maybe not in the time frame i want, but always in God's perfect time) the truth i seek, the calmness of spirit and mind, and the relief that only He can provide for a soul and mind in turmoil.

in my "God immersive" state i was watching The Chosen, season 2, episodes 1 & 2, and as always, cried at the remembrance of the great love, patience, guidance and understanding Jesus has for us.  has for me. that His arms are open to all who will run to Him, no matter what your past, present or future will be.  no sin is too great, He cannot forgive it, no life so unimportant that He cannot touch it, no heart so broken that He cannot heal it, no person so lost He cannot save them.  

i was reminded of the parable of the lost sheep.  if a shepherd has 100 sheep and 1 gets lost, he will leave the 99 to find the 1.  i was also reminded of the samaritan woman at the well that Jesus spoke to, revealing not only who she was and what she needed, but who He was and that He was all she needed.  i know that this show is not an exact biblical representation of Jesus as the scriptures show, but more of a creative portrayal.  for me, it reminds me that Jesus was not only all God, but also a man who walked this earth, had close relationships with people He shared His ministry with, loved humanity enough to associate with those others would shun and embraced those who came to Him with open arms. it reminds me of the clear biblical fact that Jesus loves me. even me.....

Jesus will always give you truth, which at times may sting, but He always does it in His love for us, for you and for me.  He will always go after that lost sheep, even when it is me. He will always reveal the truth of our sin and our need for it to be paid for.  He will never reject the "worst of these" who repents and runs to His open arms.  sin is sin to God, all sin is the same and holds the same requirement: it must be paid for.  Jesus willing paid for it. i can never thank Him enough for paying my sin debt~

wherever you are in your life, wherever you are in your faith, wherever you are in your spiritual walk, wherever you are in your relationship with Jesus, (hopefully you are a found sheep!), whether you are saved and flailing, or battling a "depressive episode", He is never too far away to be found.  He is waiting to forgive your sin, restore your path, pay your debt and greet you as you run into His always open arms.....

Matthew 11:28-28; Luke 15:20; Psalm 17:8; Psalm 91:1-2; Proverbs 18:10; Hebrews 4:16; John 6:37; Psalm 18:2

time....

it's been a while, too long actually, since i wrote anything worth posting. 

life happens. it often gets in the way of the things we want to do as we accomplish the things we must do.  like go to work so we can pay the bills. or care for children who are too young to care for themselves. or even fulfill commitments to friends, family, church or ministry.  it seems that there is never enough time to fit it all in.  

time is fickle and fleeting. one moment you are staring down a 5 day weekend, excited for all the things that can be accomplished. house projects, lunch with friends, visits with loved ones, time to write and create, do laundry, exercise, then all of a sudden it's monday and you are back to work, school or wherever it is you must be.

as time continues on i find i have less and less of it.  i am also learning that how i manage the time i have impacts how much i have! it seems there is so little when i "waste" the time i have been given.  i am not talking about needed rest for the body and mind, but time spent on things that do not grow my mind, body or spirit.  like scrolling for what to "watch" and an hour has past. or scrolling thru Instagram and 2 hours have past.  

now i have no energy, no desire to do anything, i don't feel rested and i have no time but to get ready for the work day and go to bed. next day, repeat. next day, repeat.....now the weekend has come, nothing has been done and i race around trying to "enjoy" the time off, doing things i like and must do, yet not doing "everything" that i want to do. i have not even spent the time i could in nourishing my soul by feeding it on God's word.  

the most important thing i can do with my time is to spend it growing my faith, my walk and my relationship with Jesus.  when i put Him first, when i give Him the first of my time not just what is leftover (if there is any leftover!) i surprisingly have the time to do the things i need to and want to.  i am in a better place spiritually, which benefits me mentally, emotionally and physically.  i am equipped to handle life and all that comes with it! 

we are instructed to develop a deep relationship with God, knowing Him, His Son and His Spirit so that we can navigate our lives, maximize our time and avoid taking detours that rob us of.........you got it....time!  i have wasted, continue to waste so. much. time.   i will never get back what is gone, but i can move forward.  each day is a clean slate, a new opportunity to write a new page in my story.  some days the pages will be filled with time not wasted. some days will be a wash.  

time keeps ticking away no matter how it is spent. may i be more mindful of how precious a gift it is and use it wisely.

psalm 39:4-5; psalm 90:10; ecclesiastes 9:11; ephesians 5:15-17; proverbs 26:14; colossians 4:5; romans 12:2, ecclesiastes 3:1, 

choices.....

we are all faced with choices every day. some are easy and some require a bit more thought.  like, do i hit snooze one more time, do i have another cup of caffeine or go for the decaf, do i eat that salad or hit up mc d's, do i get that ct scan to see if my cancer has returned or just ignore it? we may not think that our choices have long lasting impact but they do.  in our lives or the lives of those around us.

i will be the first to admit that i have made many bad choices.  i have not only hurt myself with them, but have hurt people i care deeply about.  i have had to live with the repercussions of these choices.  i blame no one other than myself for them.  yes, i have been coerced, made fun of, prodded and begged, to make a certain choice, but ultimately the decision was my own as to what i would do.

i have been challenged, i have been berated, i have been disowned, i have been in many situations where i had to choose how to act, how to think, how to speak, how to move forward.   at times i have considered the consequences of my actions and at times i have not.  where am i going with this.........well.........

i have made the choice to be a follower of Jesus.  no one made me, no one convinced me, no one threatened me, no one misled me and no one can ever, ever, ever, ever convince me it was the wrong choice to make.  i believe the bible is the word of God, and i am well aware that many do not.  to those of you in the 2nd grouping i challenge you to actually do a NON BIASED search for the truth.  a good place to start is with a book called "Evidence that Demands a Verdict" by Josh McDowell who set out to disprove the bible and Jesus.  also check out the "Book of Josephus".  if you truly want an answer, you will find it.

for those of you in the first group, let me pose this question to you:  if the bible is the word of God, are you picking and choosing what you want to hear and believe, or what God is saying?  if i say i believe in His word, then i cannot pick and choose what portions of it are truths for my life, for all our lives.  i agree with you there are some things that are a mystery, that i may not understand until i am in Heaven.  however, all that i need to know, all i need to be a follower of Jesus, is reveled to me.  there is a distinct difference of someone who "believes" in Jesus (satan believes in Jesus) and someone who believes in the person, the work of and has accepted His mercy of forgiveness paid on the cross.  

does this sound uncomfortable, biased, one-sided?  yes, it may but scripture says "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."(Hebrews 4:12) His word is my compass, it addresses every possible situation in life i can encounter.  it gives me clear direction on how to make good choices.  He gives me the freedom to make bad ones.

it is my hope and always my prayer, that those who have not yet made a clear choice of who Jesus is and what He has done, and to the truth and power of the bible, will be to accept, follow and believe.  He made the only choice we need to be eternally saved.  it is our choice as to whether we accept it or not.  

God's love is pure, but it is also holy and just.  He demands payment for our sin, and He provided it.  you are free to believe whatever you wish to believe.  He will never force Himself upon you. in the end, payment must be made.  ahh yes, i hear you, i am a good person, i help others, i don't ............ like others do, but what is the standard of "good"? yours, your neighbors, the guy down the street, the man in jail, where is the line you have to cross with enough "good" to get to wherever you think that will lead you....heaven, nirvana, a planet of your own or maybe just hell?

if i sound harsh i make no apology for what the bible teaches.  it is clear when it states "all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away." (Isaiah 64:6) on our own, no matter what, no matter how "good", we can never measure up to pay for our sins. is God love? so much so He did provide for payment of sin.......i made my choice......what will yours be....?

Acts 4:12; James 2:14, 19; all of Proverbs; all of Psalms; James 4:4; 1Peter 2:9; Ephesian 1:4

Happy and blessed Easter........

repurposed....

repurposed is one of the "hot" new words right now.  it means: to adapt or utilize (something) for a new purpose.  we re-purpose clothes, plastics, electronics. but what about people?  can a person be repurposed?  yes, they can, i am one of them! 

my life is not the same as it used to be.  over the years i have changed course when i should not have.  i have taken many "side streets" when i needed to remain on the narrow one-way road.  with age comes some wisdom, lol, and i am not as prone to "explore" these side streets.  i am much more aware of the allure they have rather than the benefit.  i have changed "route" over the years, but not my final destination.  

each time i have taken a side street i lost sight of who i am, what i am called to do and how i am to do it.  i lost confidence in my skills, gifts and abilities.  my self-esteem spirals downward.  i stumble and fall.  i have even failed those around me.  i dislike everything, including myself.  at times i had felt i had gotten to lost to find my way back where i belong.  depression, anxiety and despair would fill my days and sleepless nights.  it is then i returned to following my life "garmin".

my garmin knows the phrase "rerouting" all too well!  like a cd that skips over and over and over again-"rerouting".  trying to get back to the main path i belong on may take several "turns" that can drag the route out even farther.  lost!  am i lost or just misguided!  doubt clouds my prayers.  my head is full of noise.  i am so grateful and blessed He always leads me back on course and here is where i am repurposed.  even those "wrong turns" He uses to His glory.  He always has a purpose for me, service in His Kingdom and each time He gets me "rerouted" He gives me a re-purpose.

He has used my "wrong turns" to share with others which way NOT to go.  how to listen to the garmin of their life to return to their path if lost.  to find HIM if they are ETERNALLY lost.  to give Him all the praise and glory for the life and path He has given to us.  on our own, we cannot even begin to know the difference that walking a wrong path can make.  the consequences and repercussions that must be lived with.  the people around us that are impacted by our route.  the eternal separation at the end of a path not led by Him. 

we would miss out, i would have missed out, on the greatest calling, purpose, direction a life has without Him guiding our path.

that is the amazing love of Christ.  He can take any life, no matter what course it is on and re-purpose it. His mercy never fails, and His faithfulness is always available.  He is never more than a prayer away to re-purpose a life, give it a new direction and a new route to follow until the end is reached.  all it takes is an act of faith in the work of Jesus on the cross. 

what holds you back from a "repurposed" life today?  a new purpose awaits on a path worth traveling.  you are never alone.  you are never to lost.  He always reroutes us back when He is our guide......

Jeremiah 29:11, Job 23:11, Matthew 7:13, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalm 37:23, 1 Peter 5:8, Proverbs 22:6, Psalm 23:4, Proverbs 1:6, Colossians 1:10, Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 5:17, John 3:16-17

healing and scars.....

healing...can be spiritual, physical, emotional, mental. it can take a few days, or it can take a lifetime. it can involve as little as a band aid and some ointment, it can be extensive surgeries, it can be hours and hours of therapy and medications, it can be many talks with a christian friend. it can be as close as a prayer, and as far as unbelief. healing is something some pursue, while others turn their backs on it.

it is hard to open up to the world those dark, hidden places within that we retreat to. we want to feel safe in our deep dark tunnels where we think we can't be hurt anymore. (so. not. true!) tunnels carved out of pain, heartache, loss and trauma. when we talk about these dark places we become vulnerable, i become vulnerable. well here i go.......

i have recently completed a bible study on healing what's hidden and have learned that for any deep emotional wound caused by a trauma to fully heal it must begin from within.  deep within. the healing must be totally complete in order for the scar tissue to form and hold. 

true trauma healing from the inside out will leave a permanent scar within.  these scars serve a purpose.  physical scar tissue can be rough, inflexible, painful, seen as unflattering and unwanted.  maybe you feel that way as a result of internal scars. i want to challenge you to think of your scars, whether physical or internal, as strengthening, protecting, a reminder of what not to repeat, a part of the beautiful person and soul God created you to be.  that each and every scar you carry, i carry, does not change how we are seen by God, does not change how much we are loved by God, does not change the purpose God created us for.  to touch the lives of others whom God loves with our stories of how He healed us through the sacrifice of His Son Jesus, spiritually, then how He heals our trauma tunnels internally. 

i have been forever changed by my traumas. but change isn't always a bad thing! am i completely how God originally designed me to be? no i am not, but my trauma scars add to the rich story that is my life. a life that has had it's share of good and bad.  results of my own poor and selfish choices. the constant in my life has always been my Lord and my faith in Him.  my help and my healing comes from my relationship with Jesus.  i gave my life to Him, acknowledging who He is; the son of the most High God, what He did; paid my sin debt which i could never pay on my own, who forgave my sins; past, present and future and loves me unconditionally.  this was the beginning of my healing and over my lifetime will continue until He calls me home to Heaven. 

He takes all that was and is bad in my life and uses it to His good and glory. yes, i signed the waiver and it's allowed! (attempt at humor, not very good at it!)  He shows me that in Him I am loved, forgiven by His great mercy, accepted as His child and my life has purpose and meaning.  has my journey to heal been accomplished? no-i am discovering that there are some things that have "surface" closure but need a bit more healing underneath so they can scar over once and for all.

so the process of re-opening a trauma wound, learning more about who i am today as a result of it and working with my Lord and those He leads me to, help me get the "gunk" out.  then i can fully make peace with my trauma, fully heal and scar over and move forward until my last breath.  then i will go home and be scar free for eternity with the One who bears His scars, willingly, for me........

James 5:16, John 14:6, Matthew 7:13-14, Acts 14:12, Psalm 121:1-2, Proverbs 17:22, Solomon 16:12, Psalm 119:50, John 14:7, 2Kings 20:5, Jeremiah 17:14, Psalm 34:18